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Plot to assassinate FDO™ at FEARLab, Zombie Girl steps in
Posted January 16th, 2009 by scottsigler (FD∅™)
Armacham Security CameraMy vast network of spies turned up a serious threat to the life of the FDO™. A few weeks ago, I received a case that had information about the FEARLab. While this turned out to be a viral marketing campaign for the video game FEAR 2, sponsored by the evil Armacham Corporation, and there was no genuine threat to me, it seems a certain podcaster saw an opportunity.
The FEAR people wanted to fly me out to NYC for promotional gaming session. Guess who connived a way to get the same invite? J.C. Hutchinssss. My arch nemesis, it seems, saw an opportunity to take me out of the picture. He arranged a hit on the FDO™ in NYC. Now, he's doing that to promote his book, PERSONAL EFFECTS, and I can't blame him for being a marketing whore -- but no one is taking out the FDO™.
Sorry to tell you, Hutchinsss, but not only am I on to you, on Saturday, January 17th, I'm sending a warrior in my place to take you out. Huchinsss, prepare to meet Zombie, a die-hard Junkie. She runs the site Zombie Girls Online, and she volunteered to step between the FDO™ and your assassin bullet. She is undead. She has a black velvet painting of Jesus Trucker. In fact, Hutchinssss, I believe she will be facing you head-to-head in battle, and she's gonna take your ass out. Permanently. So there, Hutchinsssss, I'll be in Minneapolis, your plot has failed, so prepare to meet your doom!
Shoot FDO(tm) just drink him under the table...
Be smart as a serpent and gentle as a dove. Invite Jzzzhutchinsssss to the NYC pub crawl and drink the little guy under the table. When he's passed out, you can use him for a footrest until you deem to leave for your hotel.
Then go on his website with all that "silver case" stuff and leave an off-te-wall comment. He'll have a Hangover From Hell and confusion all at the same time.
Remember, he met with his publisher about marketing something. Its probably damaged his brain.
Good times! Good times.
"Defeat HELL! I'm advancing to the rear." --Gen. George Patton
That Hutchinssss
Conniving bastard! It's alright, FDO, think about it. If it ever came down to attacking you, look at him. There is no denying that he is a little (?) overweight, and any time he tried to attack you, well, you would have minutes to react. And besides, as well as your zombie friend, you're chums with the Ninja from askaninja.com as well. You are well covered, FDO, well covered indeed. But in an entirely different way to Hutchinsssss...
-You thought triangles were bad under your skin. Well, try a yak.-
HuchinSSSSSSSSS
Dude! Huchinsssss! Give it to ussssssss! The book! The book! Heh. Sounds like Lord of the Rings. HAR! HAR! HARDEE HAR!
And, by the way, DEEEEETROIT! BASKET BALL!
This is why you must bow down to the FDO
Not only that
Not unexpected, but still...
You have to expect stunts like this when you're FDO, but still, Hutchinsssss?
We hates the Hutchinsssss. We hates him sooo much!
People can handle being bitten by a wolf. What properly riles them is being bitten by a sheep.
-- James Joyce
Sweet 8 lb, 7 oz. baby
Uh oh.
You think you know me? If it's about that thing with the chainmail, galoshes & fedora, I already apologized.
(And the site is trying to keep me from commenting, for some reason, so if this appears twice, ignore me.)
Are you kidding? Doing
Are you kidding? Doing that was the greatest time I’ve had in quite awhile! Sadly, being attacked by that roaming gang of ruffian beavers, on the other hand, was not high on my list of “let’s do THAT again”, without having booze in me, that is.
Your quizzical retort to my assumption that I know you, plus the fact that my handle would have been a dead give away to you knowing who I was if indeed you were she in which I assumed you to be leads me to believe that you are indeed, not she.
Though based on your ridiculously similar appearances, interests, and similar location to someone I know, I’ve had “It’s a Small World” on repeat running through my head all afternoon. Thankfully, for my sanity, it's gone back to the normal test pattern tone I'm used to hearing on a regular basis.
I know, right?
That's what everyone says about the thing, but I always apologize, just to be sure. And I never go near beavers, ruffian or otherwise, without a lot of booze - you may make of that statement what you will.
But I don't think I know you, and I am glad you've got the test pattern back. Though if there is another chick 'round my neck of the woods that is similar to me, and assuming she's not one of the other Zombie Girls, that is interesting.
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